All Grace is Incarnation

Ilya Yefimovich Repin [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

"You're sufferning." Todd Hunter said to me across the table at Dick Church's this morning.

Ouch. Yeah, that's it, I'm suffering. It's funny how sometimes when someone puts words to what you're feeling it can have such an impact. Much that I hoped on has been stripped away, people that I care about are in pain. I am suffering. It's not that I'm Job, I still have food on my table, I still have my family and friends who love me, and my body is not covered in boils.

But I am hurting. I am longing to hope, but afraid to in the face of disappointment. So, it's hard to see grace right now, in my life. Friends of mine have pointed to some grace, but it remains hard to see. It's also frightening to point to one thing or another and say, "that's grace." It seemed like grace when I got into Trinity College, it seemed like grace when I couldn't pay for my visa and my church did, it seemed like grace when I found a place to stay in the weeks before I was supposed to move into school. Yet, after all those things, something came up that meant I couldn't go. Of course, that doesn't mean those things weren't grace, it's just hard to see now. Still, I believe God is with me. I believe there is grace.

My aunt sent me a blog post entitled "So all is Grace?" She said it made her think of me, that they were things I might say, though in different words. I think that's true, one or to things aside, and I think it gives at least something of a picture of how I can find comfort now.

In the face of suffering, it's easy to try and explain how it exists in God's world. That's what we in the philosophy world call a theodicy. Yet, as I've said before, theodicies all too often do violence to the reality of human suffering, they strip the raw pain away, abstracting it to an intellectual problem to be solved. Likewise, they often fail pretty miserably at being specifically Christian (or Muslim, or Jewish, etc), relying rather on a generic notion of God that is often far different from the one which has been revealed to us.

I honestly don't know what the reason for suffering is. I believe, ultimately, that God is in control. I believe that He is good. But why do we suffer? Is it because of free will? Perhaps some larger plan? Is it to teach us? To punish?

I don't know. I have my theories, but they're just that -theories, and in the face of real suffering they will always ring hollow.

But there is something that does not ring hollow. God became man. God incarnated Himself into the world of suffering, and in that very same incarnate Self He gave us the first fruits of the New Creation. I know that whatever the reason for suffering is, I can trust the God who stand over that suffering because He was willing to enter into it.

God the Father, in His eternal and unbreakable bond with Christ through the Holy Spirit, is with us in our suffering. And He is making everything new. I don't know why it hasn't come into its fullness yet, but I trust Him, for I once was blind, but now I see.

All is grace. Yes.

And all grace is incarnation.

Graduate School

I have some sad news. Most of my readers also know me in person, and have probably already heard this, but a few of you that follow me don't interact with me much in other spheres.

I won't be going to England.

The details aren't important, just know that certain crucial details fell through at the last moment. With any luck, I'll be able to move forward with graduate school before too long, but in the meantime I'm going to do my best to apply myself to growing in Christ and in service of others here at home.

And hopefully blogging lots. 

The Lord be with you! 

Graduation

Well, it's official. I am now a graduate of the University of California, Los Angeles with a Bachelor of the Arts in Philosophy. It's been a long, interesting and rewarding road. Of course, this isn't really an end, soon enough I'll be on my way to England to study a year of theology at Trinity College in Bristol. Nevertheless, it is certainly a milestone.

Over these years I've grown and changed, built friendships and learned to see the world in ways I never imagined. I've gained new friends, grown in some old friendships, and parted ways with others. I've seen one sister move away to Napa, another to Mexico where she fell in love and married. It was also during my college years that I finally found my church home as an Anglican.

Through all this time my family has been by my side, and God has been my guide. Life has been good, and I look forward to the road that lies ahead.

To all my friends and family - I love you and I look forward to exploring the coming years with you, Lord willing.

Crazy Weeks

I've had a couple of crazy weeks. My house was broken into, lots of stuff was taken, my family dog died. I've mostly dealt with that stuff, but now finals are approaching and they are probably stressing me out more than any finals ever have before. These are the final finals. This. Is. It.

Then I graduate.

So chances are for the next couple weeks this blog will be pretty quiet. I apologize.

Trinity Acceptance!

As many of you have probably already seen on Facebook or Twitter, the news is in.

I've been accepted to Trinity College, Bristol. This was my first choice by far, so I will definitely (God willing) be going there. I'm on my way England.

Trinity is, of course, a strong school academically, and the University of Bristol is one of the top institutions in the UK. Furthermore, the facilities are fantastic and the sense of hospitality when I visited was tangible.

Most importantly, there was a real sense of God's presence. Trinity is a place where I will grow spiritually.

I ask prayers as I finish up at UCLA and prepare for this new journey.

Cheers!

Sick

I want to apologize to my readers for the lack of updates this week. I'm sick, and it has completely sapped my energy. I have a few posts planned for when I'm better. Cheers.

Life: Tragedy in Our County

Today is a feast day, but, sometimes, even in the times of feasting, Lent breaks in to remind us of the brokenness of our world. Today in Costa Mesa, a city employee committed suicide by jumping off city hall. As my friend Fernando said in response to the tragedy in Japan, I am stunned to silence. May God's peace be upon this man's family, and may His love fill the city of Costa Mesa.

Life: Reading Augustine

St. Augustine is one of the great thinkers of the Christian Church. I do not always agree with him, but there is no denying his wisdom, intelligent and fervor for God. One of the things I have decided to do during this coming season of Lent is to read St. Augustine's Confessions.

The Confessions is a cherished book of both theology and philosophy. It is also, I understand, the world's first autobiography.

As I read this text, I will post here my reflections, and I hope you will join me on the journey.

Life/Philosophy/Theology: Why I am a Vegetarian

Yes, for those of you who don't know, I am now a vegetarian. It's something I've considered before, and rejected. Rejected because I didn't want to be a burden to my family. But now I'm on my own, and it's a real possibility.

But why do it?

There's many reasons to give up meat - health, protesting the killing of animals, the price of meat, the desire to feel superior to others, etc.

I suppose there's a mix of all of those in my decision, but there are two specific things I wanted to share.

First, there is the matter of respect for life. Of all of the things in God's creation, life is perhaps the most incredible. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with killing and eating animals, but I do think it needs to be done with respect. I don't think we do that anymore. We've industrialized the consumption of animals, and have thereby turned life into pure product. I think this is a problem, and I've chosen, as much as I can, not to participate in it.

Of course, there's a certain hypocrisy here, since plants are also life, and I do continue to consume them.

I have further chosen to make the giving up of meat into fast dedicated to God, and thereby a prayer. We typically think of prayer in mental terms, and that's a very important part of prayer, but it isn't everything. God is the creator of matter as well as thought, and just as we can direct thoughts to Him, we can direct actions. A little bit of discipline is a good thing in a life, and I have dedicated this discipline to God.

Life: Back in the Saddle

Life has been a bit crazy lately, mostly in a good way. On December 10th I hoped on a plane, flew to England and had an absolutely amazing time with some of the coolest people in the world, in addition to finding out a lot of very useful information about going to seminary there. I did end up getting stuck stranded for four extra days by the snow, but that's not really so bad (and got to fly back first class as a bonus).

When I got back home, I very quickly had to move out in order to live closer to campus (I'm having to live without a car now), and classes have now started for me. 

All that to explain my absence. I'm back now, though, and have a new piece in the works. I've also got something special lined up. Tune in .

Life: FINAAAAAAALS!

I'm fully entrenched now in finals week, my sanity drains, my schedule presses in on me like a vice-grip. I'll get through it of course, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Specifically, I'm heading off for 10-days in merrie olde yngland. Can't wait.

Oh, and I'm planning to blog about my trip, though I'm not sure yet how steady I'll be able to be.

Life: NaNoNoWriMo

I'm afraid I'm going to have to throw in the towel on NaNoWriMo (Making this then, for me, NaNoNoWriMo). My time is pretty well consumed with school. Hopefully next year, or maybe I'll do National Novel Writing Summer (which doesn't really exist, but it should). Better luck to the rest of you out there who are doing this.

Life: NaNoWriMo

November. It's a good month, happens to be the one I was born in, and of course there's Thanksgiving.

It's also NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo, that's National Novel Writing Month.  The goal is to write a terrible, sloppy, but complete draft of a 50,000 word novel in one month.

I'm going to give it a shot. Not sure how likely it is that I'll actually hit the goal. I'm in the middle of school, got a research project and several classes and those are of course priorities, but that won't stop me from trying.

Will you join me?

Life: Blog, Blog, Blog

While I'm on about plugging blogs.

Diversity of Lions

Here's the blog of my friend Fernando Rojas, another brilliant fellow (also with a great sense of humor).

Check it out.

Life: Another Blog Lives!

Fresh of the blag-o-press comes a new blog. It's a baby right now, so there's not much, but when there is I can promise it will be good. The blog is owned by my friend Brett Stroud, who is, seriously, one of the smartest people I know. Highly recommend you check it out, especially as he gets it rolling.

Brett A. Stroud Blog

Cheers.

Life: Sickness and Blagness

I'm sick. I can't sleep. So, naturally, my mind wanders to philosophy, and philosophy finds its way into the form of a blog. I've finally written a new post, and it will be up here shortly - it's on a nice controversial topic too.

Life: Thinking About... Pretty Much Just Graduate School

Last time I wrote on this blog, which I realize was some time ago, I was preparing for midterms and thinking about graduate school. Well, midterms are obviously behind me, as are finals. I'm still thinking about graduate school though, including preparing myself for the dreaded GRE. Still, now that it's summer I should be able to keep this blog busy for a while.

For starters, here's a link to an article over at the Front Porch Republic that I found very interesting.

Life: Midterms and Thinking About Graduate School

So, its been a while since I've posted up about my life, so I thought I'd give a little blurb. Mostly, I'm working away at the coming midterms, with an essay due in Philosophy of Mind, and a big midterm test in Ancient Greek Religion.

In addition, I've added a few schools onto my potential graduate schools list - namely the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, and St. Johns University here in the Ol' US of A. Both have amazing programs, and St Andrews now has perhaps the greatest living theologian - N.T. Wright - teaching there. Have to say I'm excited about the possibilities.

Theology/Life: He is Risen!

Happy Easter! He is Risen!

Now, I know what at least some of you are probably thinking - Easter was yesterday genius, it's Monday. However, thankfully, that's actually not quite correct. You see, the traditional, liturgical churches divide up the year into a series of seasons, each structured around a part of the Christian story, each speaking to an important part of our journey as believers. The most famous of these seasons is probably Lent, or perhaps Advent (Christmas, though I doubt most people think of the season as a whole as a religious event). However, the whole year has its seasons, and Easter is a full season of its own, lasting from Easter Sunday until the Day of Ascension, as long as the season of Lent before it.

Easter is Lent's mirror. Lent is a time of mourning and reflection, a time of quite contemplation and fasting. As most of you know, it is traditional to give up something we love for Lent, it is an act of submission, a way of realigning oneself with God's story. Lent, Holy Week included, stands as the road to the cross, to the day when (as the wonderful song "In Christ Alone says" ) " in the ground His body lay/ Light of the world by darkness slain."

But Easter season stands on the other End of Christ's Passion, it is the celebration of life, of the fact that the Grave could not hold the King. What is more, Easter proclaims God's promise that He is making everything new, that one day the old order of things, of death, decay, oppression and sin, will pass away and be resurrected in Christ a glorious New Creation. This promise celebrates the goodness of what God has made, from the majestic mountains, to the simple things in life like chocolate, and, yes, even wine.

Because of this fact, N.T. Wright in his wonderful book Surprised by Hope suggests that we start a new tradition. Just as in Lent we gave things up, rejecting the old order of the world, in Easter we should, at least for that season, take up something new as an affirmation of the goodness of what God has made, and an anticipation of what is to come. Of course, this can be something you'd label "spiritual" like a special quite time for prayer, or a regular Bible reading schedule... but it doesn't have to be. The new thing can be a new hobby (maybe you might want to take up drawing like you've always wanted to), a new habit (greeting strangers on the street) or maybe even just learning to appreciate a form of art or food you've never before enjoyed.

Easter is a season of feasting, of celebration, so I challenge you, take up something new. Feast in the goodness of what God has made. I for one am taking up guitar, and I'm also going to let my friend try and infect me with his love of poetry.

Go live and flourish!

HE IS RISEN!

Life: Dang Furries

I recently finished my first playthrough of Mass Effect 2. I’ve long been a fan of Bioware (almost every single one of their games is on my “favorites of all time” list) and the Mass Effect series is one of their best. Anyway, among the companions available in the Mass Effect games is an alien girl by the name of Tali’Zorah, she’s one of my favorite characters in both games, I was glad she was a romance option in the second game (I won’t lie, I shipped for Tali in game). But this… this is just creepy…

…really, really creepy.

From the official Mass Effect 2 forums Tali Fan Thread:

We often speak of Tali and our fan enthusiasm towards her as though it

were a sect; the truth may not be too far off that description. Stated

in short, concise terms: We've become a movement. Each day the

self-declared "Talimancers" return, many of us familiar faces and some

new. Our exuberance and devotion to this place does not appear to be

dimming as the days go by - quite the contrary. And it is not because

of this place. No, it's because of what has been unleashed by the

creation of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy as a character. I trust we are all

painfully aware that she is not a living, breathing entity as we have

come to understand such. She has become an ideal; her spirit has

awakened something that has lain dormant deep inside many of us - each

of us either secretly aware that we craved something or perhaps going

through our daily routines unsure how to place our fingertips on it yet

instinctively aware that something is missing. Each of us share this

yearning to one degree or another and it is a shared commonality that

forges these bonds between us that have been strengthened over the past

few days. 

*involuntary shudder*

 P.S. I still hope she'll be a follower in Mass Effect 3 though